I have a confession.  I used to obsess about sin.  I'd sit around with friends - parsing out the pitfalls and snares that could surely be avoided with just the right music, just the right movies and so on.  We'd debate at length the pros/cons of violence vs. explicitness.  Before that - there were a few semesters when I'd literally walk around campus with at least a couple of nails in my pocket - an ever present reminder that Christ died so I could walk in holiness ... or at least holy Levis. For some reason this tested my mother's holiness - mightily - and she finally got me to stop - by threatening to sew patches all over my hard-earned holey 501's.  Gasp!! Apparently I wasn't the only one thinking this though - this was a t-shirt that you could at one point buy at any Christian anything it seemed.

I'd get on a great streak with my morning devotions for a few days - but then miss one - maybe lose my temper - and next thing you know - it'd take me a couple of days to get back on track - because I felt too bad about how I'd blown it to jump right back in.  Basically - this was the paradigm regardless of what spiritual discipline, habit or practice I was pursuing.

But - what are you gonna do?  

I wanted absolutely no part of NOT chasing after God with my whole heart - and I didn't see anyone doing anything different - maybe there wasn't any other way.  Everyone I knew was "trying".  Well - not quite - there were some who'd given up on trying and were now very zen about that ... but they weren't offering a better method, or a slicker approach.  In fact - in some cases - the "zen" looked like they'd given up.  

Is this all there is?  You pick a point along the continuum of license verses law - and you take your stand there - not because it's defensible, not because it's effective, not because it's leading to daily renewal?  What about all that abundant life jibber-jabber in John 10:10?  Or how about being transformed by the renewing of my mind like Romans 12:2 talks about?

And what are those few people doing who look so calm, so serene, so "chill" ... how do I get some of that?  

Maybe there is a way.

Maybe there's a few ways - but I think I've found at least one ... and I've been testing it out pretty intensely for a few years now - and I'm so sure that it has legs - I'll tell you - and you try it - and you see if it works for you too. 

Come back.  I can either flesh out this idea in one, eye-ball desiccating post, or I can split it up - posing questions - taking our time along the way.  I don't see the point to rushing.