Fasting? Giving up chocolate? Praying extra?

These are excellent Lenten goals and can be spiritually challenging and nourishing.

But I wonder how many of you would benefit from something different?

I started taking advantage of Lent to take my walk with God a step further over 20 years ago - almost 25 years ago in fact. In that time I’ve started my Lenten challenge after prayerfully considering God’s leading. I’ve gone on daily prayer walks, prayer hikes; read chunks of Scripture above and beyond what I’d normally read. I’ve added ministry goals, spiritual goals. Fasted soda, coffee, and all foods entirely even.

Some years ago though, it became clear that the spiritual practice I was most lacking in was patience and grace towards myself.

This year it was clear again that what I need to do is lean on God harder than ever to let Him help me grieve my dad’s passing. You may or may not have something of similar weight on your heart this Lent, but so many of us have heavy hearts. We’ve been through a lot over the last few years. The news outlets are full again with fresh stress and world disasters. Grief, stress, inflation, family pressure, concerns for the future - all of these somehow have the twin effect of making finding rest in Jesus even more important - and yet often also somehow more elusive.

I have a theory about why this is. Much of Christianity (regardless of denomination) sees much of how we engage in our walk as a cerebral exercise. We read our Bible. We open our commentaries and concordances, New Testament dictionaries - all because we want to understand. I don’t know about you but sometimes I feel like the spiritual part of spiritual growth kind of gets forgotten. And don’t even get me started about how ignored/denied our emotions get.

And yet we cannot function as humans - as the very thing that we are - without our emotional side and our spiritual side. I doubt that Jesus intended us to just be cerebral followers, I mean He picked Peter after all. I am happy that the savior of humanity chose to be so - repeatedly and showed His own emotions as much as He did. Surely our minds are powerful, but so are our emotions and our spirits.

Imagine how powerfully our walk with Jesus can be when we follow Him with our whole selves.

If you haven’t been encouraged to follow Him with your whole self - then this could sound radical. Or it could sound fine, but feel radical or even uncomfortable. But the discomfort is worth it.

If you knew me back in the day you might be surprised to hear me say these things, but if you’ve known me more recently - you’d not be surprised at all.

When I first started sitting down to have “quiet times” in my dorm room as a freshman at Michigan State - I imagined effortlessly spending time with God every single day. But that was harder than I’d imagined. Then I realized it was impossible. Or at least it was impossible the way I was going about it - trying to be an 18 year old theologian, writing eloquant devotionals from scratch every morning in my journal. No pressure.

Maybe like me, you also feel better after spending time with God - praying for your loved ones, deepening your understanding of Scripture.

Don’t forget to also let Him heal your heart, take your burdens, remind you of your identity in Him, whisper His love to your soul, slather your spirit with His love and grace and give your spiritual side a breath of His heaven scent. Bring your whole self to Him - not just your theological side. Bring Him your child-side, your goofy self, your whacky humor, your exhaustion, your stress - all of that and more.

If you have never done that before, it might feel weird. You might get to the end of your time with God and wonder, “was that it?” YES! Be as real with Him as you can - be as YOU as you understand He made you to be. Do it again tomorrow and grow in your understanding and experience of who He made you to be. If you can’t be you with Him - with whom do you think you can? But who in the cosmos loves you - the REAL YOU - more than Him? Who wants you to be as fully YOU as you can more than Him? And can you imagine how affirming and encouraging and illuminating it is to experience His love as you are just you - all you - in your times with Him?

In America, we are some of the fussiest consumers in history. We want things new, we want them exciting, shiny, useful, and perfect. We avoid buying something dent, scratched, wonky and malformed. And yet God CHOSE us while we were still hostile to Him (at least that’s what Paul says in Romans 5). Do you think He doesn’t know how imperfect you are? Do you think someone else knows the point of your unique combo of imperfections? Maybe they’re not what you think they are.

So - how to do this?

Let’s be kind to ourselves. If you’ve never approached God this way before - think back to the last time you saw a child or a pet do something ridiculous. Remember how you felt - especially if you know that child and/or that pet well. Can you allow yourself to know that God is the source - the origin - of such feelings? If you can feel warmly, lovingly, and adoringly about another person’s embarrassing or hilarious moment - imagine how much more generously God - who died so we could be with Him - feels about us? This is encouraging, humbling, incomprehensible, and obvious all at once.

If you’re really brave, recall a moment in the recent past and let Him love you through it. However embarrassed by our antics we might feel, He is never surprised and never dissuaded from loving us. He knew from before time what we’re like - and He chose us. Not anyway - but regardless.

What a git! What incredible GRACE!