Last week I posted about the healing power of listening. Today I want to keep pressing forward with this idea how healing it can be to be heard – really heard.

But first I must confess. Sometimes the idea of being heard leaves me feeling nervous. It seems like there are just too many ways of not really being heard. You know when you’re not being heard because the energy of the conversation starts to get weird, and suddenly all you can think of are all the other things that need to be done in all the other places you’d rather be.

What happened?

The treasure of connecting purposefully got lost. Why does it sometimes get lost? Why does it feel so empty and pointless when it does get lost? Why does it feel so magical when we catch it? No. Not magical. It feels sacred.

Can we do something to make this happen more easily?

Can we stop the thing from happening that derails these moments?

How come it seems easy to imagine this working with some folks but not with others? What’s the thing that’s different between those with whom this back and forth happens naturally – and those with whom it just keeps falling flat?

Listening to someone who’s really listening to you – hearing someone who’s really hearing you – this is how we experience deep belonging. Real connection. In a delightfully human way of mixing senses – this is how we felt seen. This is how we experience being genuinely accepted. We feel ourselves belonging in these moments.

This takes a bunch of courage.

But how do we find our courage in these moments? Where does this courage come from? Can we get more of it? And is getting more of it going to involve something dreadful?

What if the very thing that helps us be heard – helps us become better hearers? Wouldn’t that be like a miraculous provision?