I recently read a recently released book called “Wonder Drug” by Dr. Stephen Trzeciak MD, MPH, who’s chair of medicine at Cooper Medical School of Rowan University and Anthony Mazzarelli MD, JD MBE who’s the co-president and CEO of Cooper University Health Care. They both actually have lots of other roles – but the important thing to note is that they’ve written a book that is as beneficial to them in their positions as it is to anyone else. I became interested in the book when I heard them being interviewed about it on one of my favorite podcasts.

The book is absolutely worth the time it takes to read. Are you a numbers person? There are numbers for you. Are you a stories of personal impact, there are personal stories for you. I like both of the numbers and the stories. Here’s a short list of the lessons that have stuck with me after reading these two doctors’ work that have stuck with me and continue to encourage me.

·       Compassion fatigue is what happens when we almost practice something that looks like compassion but is not compassion purely for compassion’s sake. Practicing compassion to be thought of as compassionate doesn’t carry as many benefits and can even lead to burnout. Practicing compassion towards others at one level and towards yourself at another (or visa versa) also does not work as well. Practicing compassion out of obligation also deprives us of the full benefit of practicing compassion for compassion’s sake. I have grown to love compassion – and find that the more I lean into showing it to my loved ones, those in my church community, those in my local community, and the wider world – the easier it is to show it to myself too. And – I am so imperfect I truly need it. The more I show it the more humanized everyone becomes – the more I can minister to angels unawares and treat strangers and sojourners as I want to believe I would treat Christ. Christ denied compassion to no one. Even those he fought with, he also wanted to gather to him like a hen gathers her chicks.

·       The health field has a long standing position of saying to help people better, professionals need to distance themselves. What these two doctors found though, was that it’s that very disconnect that leads to compassion fatigue. In that case, and this is my paraphrase, compassion fatigue is a result of our human want and need to feel and show compassion being disconnected. We are made for compassionate connection, not discompassionate disconnection. But disconnection is often so painful, we can only do it discompassionately – because it just hurts us. We may not admit this easily to ourselves. I confess that once upon a time I valued big personalities, making “tough calls” with bluff and bluster and maybe even gruffness “for the good” of other. What I’ve come to understand from plenty of tough situations of my own is that I’m afraid that’s kind of crap. There is no strength like the strength of respect, dignity shown with kindness and compassion. I can only do this when I am up-to-date on engaging in the ongoing work on my soul with God to surrender the garbage that keeps me from feeling His loving-kindness, compassion and patient grace with me. I am only as compassionate to myself/others as I allow God to be to me. It takes a lot of intentional strength to stay in this process in a mind-set of progress not perfection.

·       It takes a tiny amount of compassionate connecting time to make a HUGE difference in our lives. Compassion isn’t some fluffy thing that we put out into the world. It is SOUL MEDICINE. The science, the data is clear – compassion doesn’t just feel good to our hearts, it actually protects them from actual physical heart disease. I KNOW!! Not only that – it can literally heal our hearts – spiritually from the burdens we carry in them, and even some of the physical damage in them. Is it a silver bullet? Clearly not. Is it magic? Don’t get me started. Not only does compassion make us feel engaged and meaningfully connected to our work, to our families – and I would say for me – to my purpose for being here, but it can even reverse and help us start to reclaim parts of ourselves that we’ve lost – like our hope, our agency – our ability to make our lives better. And how much time per day are we talking about? 15 minutes. We’ve all had a rough couple of years and I don’t know about you – but I often wish people were less mean, less angry, less irritable. Well. Come join me. Let’s be the change we crave. Can we make others change? And let’s be real, it’s silly to talk about that until I’ve changed me. I have worked hard on these issues in my life long before this book came out last year – but I am reinvigorated in my passion for compassion by this book and all that’s in it. I can’t speak for the rest of the world – but I sure am willing to stand with you as you stand with me – and together we will surely make a difference to one another – and that’s pretty awesome.