Salty Speech: Raca: Worse than Vulgar

If you read through the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:22 you can come across this verse.

22 "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell."  NIV

I pasted the verse above from BibleGateway.com - and is from the New International Version. In the middle of the verse there's this word; "Raca" - with a note [d] - which if you click on it - will tell you that raca is an Aramaic language term of contempt. In other translations the word raca only appears as a footnote - and the word is translated in the text as "you fool!" or "idiot". Most versions have a footnote about this term.  If you keep digging around  - you can uncover that this term doesn't actually have a good equivalent in English - because the word in Aramaic also sounds like the word "to spit." It's not really like calling someone a moron. It's also not like calling someone a dumb-dumb. It is like spitting in someone's face while calling them the foulest thing you can think of. It is soul-withering.

This is the only place this word appears in the entire Bible. It gets a lot of attention - rightfully - because of what the rest of that verse in Matthew 5:22 says ... that speaking this way - puts you in danger of hell. To a fluent Aramaic speaker - based on what I've studied because I'm not fluent in Aramaic - this isn't just a statement about someone's IQ. This term is a leathally soul-crushing trifecta of contempt, devaluation and dismissal. This is the way you speak to someone you're willing to put or leave in the gutter.

In other words: this is a term of deep shame.

Shame has has a lot of press lately - due in large part to the work of now world-famous shame expert, Dr. Brene' Brown. She's published a number of books, given a number of TED talks which continue to just grow in viewage. If you don't know about Dr. Brown's work or her TED talks - then you can go here to watch the first one and nourish your brain for about 18 minutes. Dr. Brown has been interviewed numerous times on numerous media platforms. I'm a podcast person - and I've heard many of her interviews via podcast. Interestingly - about half the time - the interviewer will eventually suggest that maybe shame should be used - but only towards really bad people. Dr. Brown's answer is unequivocally: "No." Then she goes on to explain how even shaming people who "deserve it" damages all the rest of the people who hear said shaming and don't deserve it. She goes on to declare that shame has no benefit to anyone. Anywhere. Ever. 

Please re-read that last sentence with me - because I really need to get this too. The world's foremost and most outspoken expert on Shame believes it has NO place, NO where, at NO time. Shame is simply - THAT bad.

So - back to "raca" in Matthew 5:22

Read the verse above that - Matthew 5:21, and the one after that and on down through the end of verse 25. That whole little passage is titled with the heading "Murder". MURDER!! 

Murder

21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison."

In short - this passage links our mouths with the power to kill. I think we all know this. This is the crux of the misery that is bullying. This is the problem with that old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones" - and why it is just horse-hooey. There is - it seems - almost no way to causually not hear the awful things we hear. We HAVE to actively dismiss them. If we don't get rid of them - they kill us. 

Dr. Brown is spiritual and talks about the value of being spiritual - but when she talks about the destructive power of shame, she is saying this based on over a decade (nearly two now actually) of empirical social research. Loads of data. Yet here we, or at least those of us who have read the sermon on the mount - have this straight out of Jesus' own mouth from 2000 years ago. Shaming = murder. 

It's pretty clear that we can do a heap of damage - to ourselves and those around us - just thinking shame - but open up your Facebook right now - and cringe with me about the shame-pain flying around. I may not know a single thing about your newsfeed - but I know that.

Shame sells. I know they say that sex sells - and it does - but I think shame is the universally accepted G-rated substitute for sex, violence and vulgarity. "Let's all beat on the bad people!" Yet it is every bit as destructive. 

And - please let me be really clear - sitting here writing this - I feel ashamed. If you know me - you know why. I have - as my mother told me when I was 12 - "a tongue what can clip a hedge". Apparently it was pretttttty baaaadddd when I was 12 - because my brother-in-law said the same thing. In fact - I just got off the phone with my brother, Dave - because I wanted to give an example on here of how sharp-tongued - or shame-driven my speech was/has been and wanted to clear it with him before I published the post. My brother's exact words this morning about this incident were: "Sis. How the heck do you remember this crap?" I'm soooo glad he doesn't remember. 

this is like our car - but not our car on that fateful trip - because ours had a "turtle-shell" on top for all the crap that would've gone into the trunk - if only our Civic had had one. That thing was tiny.

This is a while before that fateful trip to CA - but that's my brother Dave, in that schnazzy plaid jacket.

Here's the example: When we were kids - I was 11, my brother was 16 - our family took a nearly three week vacation and drove in a tiny Honda civic from our home in Niles, Michigan all the way out to Los Angeles. Mom wanted us to see beautiful sights - the Grand Canyon, Brice Canyon, Yellowstone, On the way back we visited some friends of my parents, "The Olsens" - they asked me at dinner "What have you learned from this trip Amy Jo?" Noticing that I'd just been handed center stage at a two-family dinner - one of my bigger audiences to date - I sagaciously (or so I thought) declared that I'd learned "that my brother had a mouth the size of Grand Canyon that spouted like Old Faithful". The whole room roared with laughter. I think it took my brother a while to notice what happened because he was crushing on their cute daughter. Thank goodness he doesn't remember all the awful things I said - and I said a lot of them - my words were my weapon of choice growing up. Even as an adult I cannot even count the number of times in my life I withered someone with my words - and that horrifies me more than a bit.

Despite warnings - I was a slow learner apparently - in college I vividlyremember my discipler, Lauren, sitting me down with another couple of student leaders to explain to me that the things I said - and the way I said them was self-righteous, and judgmental - and this wasn't good. I am sorry to say that I stared and them and blinked and asked: "But what if I'm right?" 

So - when I say that Shame, and all other possible permutations of slaying people with our words - I come at it as a slayer and slain. 

And you know what? Slayer is worse. Slain is surely no picnic. But in our culture that loves shaming so much (I will cite 99% of all internet comments, ever.) - it's easy to shame shamers and shame slayers and dismiss them as "evil" or some other version of "less" (note the words that relate to worth, and contempt). Looking at my own capacity to slay and kill with my words though is much harder to stare at. 

And yet - if laughter can heal us when we're sick (and I believe it is good medicine) - surely humility, ownership, and a little tongue-biting can heal the damage shame does our souls when we cut loose with it. In fact - in a future post - I'll dive into all the ways we can use our tongues to promote healing.

Sadly - for today - I'm focused on shame. 

And I won't speak for you - but I will tell you that for a few years now I've been working really hard to throw zero shame ... and the super messed up thing is I still throw it - and sometimes I throw it at myself - as if that somehow makes it okay. Shame has a seductive, even addictive quality to it. We are alarmingly good at recalling the shaming, killing words others have said, and frequently completely oblivious about the remarks we've casually tossed out to others in heated moments - or moments when we knew we had an audience. It's as if we can toss death-bombs with our mouths and look in the mirror and see halos. Messed. Up. I want to be done with it. I literally believe it does less harm to drop any term of vulgarity - than it does to shame someone. And let me be clear - I really believe that it does as much more harm to my soul when I shame than it does the soul of the one I'm shaming - albeit different-feeling kinds of harm. That so often we can shame and not even recall it - is an indication of our woundedness. We don't notice. I'm not advocating that - I'm just saying. I know people who are extremely adverse to any form of swearing (not a bad trait). As a "preacher's kid" who spent many a hot summer evening completely glued to a vinyl covered pew - there were quite a few swear words I had no idea existed. But I knew shame. I think I've always known "raca" and all it's ilk.

Here's why I think shame is so bad. After so many decades of ministry and talking to people who's faiths are battered - they're not battered by Muslims, or Atheists, or Vegetarians attacking their faith. They're battered because someone in the Body of Christ, someone they thought was on their side and had their back - took aim - and shamed them. 

I do not want to tear down the work of the Lord in someone else's soul - with my words - that extremely rare and precious gift we have among all life on this rock - for a seductive moment of laughter from a crowd, or self-righteous inner "glow". Who can rebuild such damage? Have you forgotten all the shaming things that once stabbed your heart? No. I want to build people up. I want to put my head on my pillow at night and fall asleep smiling about healing with my words.

This isn't about perfection - we can't attain that. Or guilt - we can grow in that. This is about offering a much needed refuge - to ourselves and the world at large. Everyone is drowning in shame. Go to the grocery store - the most shame-fueled publications, the rumor rags like Enquirer and People, are place directly across the most common shame-numbing drugs - like Snickers and Recees Peanutbutter Cups. 

And - imagine the boon to our own souls to not cave to this sort of speech? It really does damage both ways. It's just playing with death. Not good. If laughter is good medicine - building one another up is the speech equivalent of a super-vitamin, or kale. That's it. Loving speech is surely to our souls what kale is to our bodies (even if it tastes a little like death to my mouth). I love to cook tasty, healthy food for my friends. A little salt makes that so easy. I want to season my speech with Grace - as with salt. (Colossians 4:6)

My prayer for us all today - is that the words we'd remember most would be those Christ died to let us hear. You are God's. He loves you.

Mr. Patrick Ng - Creator of the Chronodex

Dozens of times a day - I flip open my journal to record some tidbit - this diagram - has an impact on people around me. As soon as they see it - they can't stop themselves from asking "what's that?" I get it - that was my first reaction too.  So - here's the scoop on the Chronodex.

It's a modified clock-face and was created by Patrick Ng - who has a beautiful blog-post about it which I highly recommend you check out here. 

Mr. Ng created the chronodex at a time when his father's health was failing and his family was struggling with all that means. He used his art - heavily influenced by his dad's love of art and Chinese heritage - to create something different - a way to track time that wasn't the typical boring vertical list from whatever-o'-clock in the a.m. you wake up until the end of your day. He played around with a few ideas and landed on the chronodex. Though Ng is a professional graphic designer in the UK - he impressively generates free downloadable and printable yearly calendars of the chronodex. Here's this years. The generosity of making this visually stunning design so readily available really inspires me.

So - there's nothing magical about it - it's just a way to track time - but it is a very different way visually to track time - and as someone who's fairly visual - I really like it. I started using it back when I was still sick to record the various things I was doing to improve my health - and how well those things were working. Later - as I started feeling better - I used it to plan and track my time and attempt to not bite off more than I could chew and cause a relapse. Because I not only like the way it looks - but like drawing it - I trace it daily into my journal and fill it out as I go through my day. I record some of the same and some different things now than I did when I first started using it - but it's become a kind of artsy, meditative point in my day to draw it out.

The chronodex has really caught on in some sectors - and has a quite a community on-line. There are articles about it - like this one at LifeHacker.

There's a Facebook Page about it (which I just liked) - you can see the page here. If you go there - you'll see that many of the posts/posters use a specific kind of notebook - called a Midori notebook ... which is like a Moleskin notebook - on steroids. Feel free to google image search Midori notebooks - but I'm warning you - that's like journal-crack. You might need a buddy to make sure you don't fall down that rabbit hole forever.

Of course - I LOVE journals, and all things journal-crack and so of course I can't not link you to the Chronodex flickr page! You're welcome. Now that I'm freshly inspired - I'm going to play around too - so many cool ideas here! My favorite is the one above - drawn by Mr. Patrick Ng himself - that blends into/turns into a mind-map. Sweet. 

I don't have to use a Chronodex - but I think it looks cool - and I've been using it for a few years now - and love being able to go back and relive days to a large degree based on my chronodex notes. Mr. Ng is a talented artist with loads of stunning work - drawings, photography and more - I encourage you to take a relaxing stroll through his blog and look at some of the things he's produced. It's visually satisfying.

Salty Speech: a Keystone Habit

It was about 6 weeks ago when I first started thinking about this "Salty Speech" thing - way back in April - and long before the last Grace Habit post. The idea of salty speech grew out of the Grace Habit - because just like daily soaking in God's presence had a spill-over effect on my thoughts - the effect on thoughts began to spill over into speech. 

Okay - about that ... there are conversations I've had just this week - today even - that I would not mind having some sort of supernaturally powered fairy-wand that would allow me to dive back into the ether of space and time and suck those words back up. Whether that means that those words would then make my whole mouth taste like "crow" or "humble-pie" for the rest of the day - doesn't matter. It'd be worth it. I say this not because I've been "more awful than ever" today ... but rather because not only wasn't I more awful than ever - but because - what if I could learn to intentionally lay down each word - considered and hand-picked - just for that moment - just for that conversation. Dangerous thinking. Right? But is it really? Is this one of who-knows-how-many ways to be "slow to speak?" (James 1:19)

This project has mostly been a pleasant little adventure to create something different from before with my speech and notice how that change sits day after day. Despite decades walking with Jesus - everything's somehow come together in such a way as to make the whole topic feel fresh and new. To land in a pile of so much "new" - feels absolutely quickening, electrifying, and invigorating. So - it's early on still - but one thing seems very clear - if you want to grab hold of your spiritual growth, if you want to put a big ol' handle on your character - speech seems to be a fine way to do so. And - it's hard to guess who will benefit more - you - or all those around you.

Talk has been floating around health and fitness circles for some time now about "keystone" habits - those habits that make it so much easier to achiever more difficult habits. A simple and benign habit like taking a daily walk for instance - for many people leads far more easily to a goal of "losing 25lb" than tackling that goal directly. (Want to read more about this?  Check out this Huffington Post article. Or - read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg - just one of many books that have come out recently on this topic - there are many). Whether or not the Grace Habit, or casting off negative thinking, or speech is a keystone habit for anyone else - we each surely have several or more. You can think about a keystone habit as that one domino - which once toppled - sets off the whole chain reaction - without require any further input or effort. It's an imperfect analogy because no growth in faith happens accidentally - but it can happen and must be able to happen without the oppressiveness of soul-drags like guilt, and "should".

Whether you're reading current social science or psychology research - or you're reading the nearly 2,000 year old book of James 3:2; "For we all stumble in many ways, if anyone does not stumble in what he says - he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well." It seems to me - that speech - is a keystone habit spiritually. The only good way for me to not stumble in what I say is to align my goals with God's goals in such a way that stumbling a little less in what I say is a by-product of turning my heart as hard as I can towards God. I'm nowhere nearly as good as I'd like to be at this - but I more I lean into the Grace Habit the more noticeably disruptive salt-less speech feels ... the more I crave lining my speech up with the love of God the Grace Habit lets me soak in. The less I want to increase the global volume of corrosive racket spilling into the air out of my mouth. It doesn't feel oppressive or burdensome - but rather playful, adventurous, creative and hopeful. This isn't about trying harder, or working harder at it or simply looking in the mirror every morning and saying to myself - again - that I "really should speak better" and "I probably could speak better,  and I would probably like it. Honestly - I truly believe that "should" is one of the foulest words in the English language - followed closely could and would.

James 3 goes on to compare attempting to tame the tongue to putting a rudder on a ship, or a bridle into a horse's mouth ... tiny things that exert tremendous influence.

"3 Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. 4 Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires." 

So - if your walk with God is rocking - please share your tips and insights - and maybe just enjoy the domino video. But if you're looking for a way to boost your walk and create a different space in your head and around you - maybe speech can give you a bit of that lever by which you can move - if not the world - then at least some hearts - which is still pretty incredible. 

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Up until now all the books I've reviewed have been books by faithful people about faith. This book is a little different in that it's written by a psychologist who's had a lot of press lately as a result of her research into what it really takes to make a difference - in whatever way someone might work to make a difference. The psychologist is Angela Duckworth and the book is called "Grit". The message of this book goes beyond Malcolm Gladwell's book, Outliers, which launched the 10,000 hours of practice rule - or put differently that 10,000 hours of practice - particularly the right kind of practice can outstrip talent in almost any field. Duckworth's book is focused on that rare quality present in some - that would not only drive them to practice 10,000 hours at some task - but to practice in such a way as to attempt to plumb the depths of their chosen pursuits. Actually - Duckworth's book - and even more so the research that it reveals - looks at what is that hard-to-describe quality that drives one person with no talent, or some might even say, no hope of success in some field to become so entranced, enamoured, and enthralled with some pursuit that they practice longer, more deliberately, more masterfully - than many who were thought to have had a substantial "natural" head-start. Per Duckworth's research - regardless of talent - it's only grit that gets the job done - and the further you might want to go - the more grit you'll need.

My own fascination with Duckworth's research is in the way she teases apart the brain's plasticity - not just in the way - say a figure skater's cerebellum might differ from a non-skater's - but how the brain seems to exhibit extraordinary plasticity even in areas in which many of us were taught the brain isn't plastic at all: such as mathematical aptitude, athletic prowess, and even IQ. Duckworth talks about pro-athletes who were barely allowed to play on their highschool's junior varsity teams, high-school students with little hope in basic math classes - going on to not only studying the most advanced math classes offered in their high schools - but to become professional mathematicians, holding advanced degrees in mathematics and going on to accomplish ground-breaking work. The virtual magic worked by grit doesn't just apply to kids whose brains aren't fully developed yet either - it absolutely also applies to adults - even older adults. The research looked at what makes cadets stick it out at West Point, teachers stay in their jobs, athletes swim in cold pools at 4am, and more. Bottom line - if you want more grit - you can get it. 

According to Dr. Duckworth - the more gritty you are - the more mid and low-level goals you'll have that support your top level goal - and it's those layers that make you gritty - well - that's part of it.

As a person of faith and someone who's devoted decades of my life to helping others find, and deepen their own faith - the question that keeps coming up in my head over and over as I turn the pages in this book is "How do we as Christians - instill more grit - or a grittier faith in our kids?" For at least the last four decades high school students who self-report as having a meaningful faith - in huge proportions - after just one semester of college - give up their faith. A third or slightly more might eventually find their way back to the fold as they marry and start their raising their own families - but the trend is no less upsetting or disturbing to churches and families all over the US. 

Duckworth's research of course doesn't look at Grit and faith - but it does look at some things that might relate: such as interest, practice, purpose and hope, gritty parenting, and cultures of grit. Duckworth makes no bones about not having any answers as to how to raise grittier kids in any context - because the identification of grit as a thing - never mind the study of it - in terms of psychology - is such a new concept. She speaks about what her intuition says and what she as a parent does - but she admits that there is no hard science on this - yet. So I can't even start to speculate what might make church kids, and college students - become grittier in their faiths. As someone who's watched college kids struggle with growing their faiths for close to 30 years - I can't shake the sense that faith in America currently lacks an equivalent to whatever it is that makes teenagers spend long, hard hours fulfilling coach's demands on the basketball court, on the track, on the grid-iron. It's a real challenge in the realm of faith - because - of course - unlike sports - there's no objective measure of speed, distance, and ultimately wins to evaluate the effectiveness of practice. The idea of measuring kids' faith is horrifying on many levels. Yet - what if there were another way to inspire kids to recognize not just the transformational power of their own faith - but the positive and positively community-building-life-changing power of the kingdom of God on earth when a group of Christians commits to walking their talk, defending the defenseless and loving the not-nearly-loved enough. I believe that it's the contact with this dynamic that - for instance - leads to such life-changing experiences for kids on short-term missions trips for instance. Do you want more grit in your faith? What would that even mean to you? I personally not only want more grit in my faith but I want more gritty friends who are growing their faith good and gritty.

I do not know what the answers are - but I'm excited about this book - and I'm praying for a generation or two of Gritty Christians committed to doing good.

If you'd like to learn your own Grit-score - you can take Dr. Duckworth's grit-test here. 

If you'd like to watch Dr. Duckworth's TED talk on Grit - please go here - to do so. Squarespace doesn't support embedded links to TED talks at this time. But you can watch it on TED.com

If you'd like to listen to the Freakonomics podcast interview Dr. Duckworth - then go here. 

Monday Funday!

Happy Memorial Day everyone! Praying that you have a fantastic day of holiday R&R! Shout out to all those health-care workers and the rest who are still headed to work today.

Salty Speech ... words escape me

Today's post has appeared in the blog-editor screen over a dozen different ways today - a couple of sentences ... delete, delete, delete ... and then a different couple of sentences ... delete ... 

Clearly - I don't have the words - because I haven't yet sat long enough in silence with this topic yet. No worries. If you know me at all - you know that I'm far less interested in posting mindless posts - and more interested in pursuing God. 

So - I'm not going to sweat it. 

I'm thinking, praying, reading, talking with students and already learning some interesting things about speech.

Also - I'd really love it if you have come across a great resource on speech; a story, a poem, a sermon, song, a book, picture, whatever ... I've been going through some resources already - but for all we say - we don't say as much as you might think about speech itself.

Thanks! - Praying you're all having a lovely day.

The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen

Henri Nouwen wrote the first edition to this book 45 years ago in 1972.  Nouwen was born in 1932 - so by the time he wrote this book he'd been a ministering Catholic priest for well over a decade.

The book presents four "doors" through which we can minister to one another - regardless of vocation or calling - and he clearly suggests that we are all called to do just that - especially regardless of our specific vocations.

What's perhaps most interesting about this book is that though it was written 45 years ago and though the edition I own was updated in 2010 with posthumous revisions to make the book's message a "universal call for compassion within relationships, on our journey to becoming more fully human." - the book as a whole reads entirely modern. The only solid clue that it's as old as it is is the absence of any reference to social media.

The four doors that Nouwen refers to are presented one in each of the book's chapters. Door one is the condition of the suffering world, the second the condition of the suffering generation. Door three and chapter three address the condition of the suffering human. The final door and chapter peer into the suffering minister. Nouwen ends his introduction to this book - one of his more famous works - with this words:

"For all ministers are called to recognize the sufferings of their time in their own hearts, and make to that recognition the starting point of their service. Whether we try to enter into a dislocated world, relate to a convulsive generation or speak to a dying person, our service will not be perceived as authentic unless it comes from a heart wounded by the suffering about which we speak.

Thus nothing can be written about ministry without a deeper understanding of the ways in which ministers can make their own wounds available as a source of healing. Therefore this book is called The Wounded Healer."

Nouwen launches into the discussion about "door one" - the condition of the suffering world by relaying a conversation he had with a young seminary drop out he called Peter. Peter liked seminary, retained his seminary friends, thought fondly on his time there - but had dropped out - moved to a secular university, moved in with his girl-friend, started partying and drinking as much as any other student. His former seminary teachers were perplexed - as were his parents, many of his old friends - even Peter himself was confused about his predicament. About Peter Nouwen says "He himself did not know what he was looking for, but he had a general all-pervading feeling of confusion. "Nothing was urgent. Nothing was important ... He didn't suffer from despair - but neither did he have anything to hope for."

Nouwen says that he noted students like Peter finding two ways out of their quiet malaise - the one he calls the "mystical way" meaning the pursuit of inner meaning - contemplation. Those who pursue this path "come to the shocking, but at the same time self-evident, insight that prayer is not a pious decoration of life but the breath of human existence." The other path is "the revolutionary way" - and for these the choice is no longer our present world or a better world - but a new world or no world. Nouwen says "Their goal is not a better human being, but a new human being, one who relates to the self and the world in ways which are still unexplored but which belong to our hidden potentials."

To both of these Nouwen offers a third way - the Christian way. He says that the inner way and the revolutionary way are two aspects of the same attempt to bring about radical change." He identifies that the "mystics" cannot avoid becoming social critics - and revolutionaries cannot avoid facing their human condition - and both will find that they are also fighting their own reactionary fears and false ambitions. Nouwen clarifies: "For a Christian, Jesus is the one in whom it has indeed become manifest that revolution and conversion cannot be separated in the human search for experiential transcendence. His appearance in our midst has made it undeniably clear that changing the human heart and changing the human society are not separate tasks, but are as interconnected as the two beams of the cross."

Nouwen opens the chapter on door number two - with a wisdom story - about a young fugitive running for his life - and finding refuge in a village where the people were kind and happy to offer assistance - until that is the soldiers arrived armed to the teeth and threatening the village with death if they didn't turn over the fugitive. The minister - torn between the death of the one man or his whole village - searches and searches through Scripture and eventually decides that it's better that one man die so many can live. He does so and the fugitive is taken away - and the village erupts into celebration. Only now an angel reveals to the minister that the young man was none other than the Messiah Himself. Then angel says "What have you done?" The minister says "How could I have known?" The angel replies - if you had visited the man just once - you would've known." The point being that we struggle to immerse ourselves in another's struggle - and are poorer for it. This door needs - as Nouwen sees it - 1. Ministers who can articulate inner events, 2. Compassion - and 3. Ministers who can function as a contemplative critic in the sense that people need leaders who have dared to go where they now are afraid to go themselves. At the end of this chapter Nouwen sums up his thinking this way:

"Having said all this, I realize that I have done nothing more than rephrase the fact that Christian leaders must be in the future what they have always had to be in the past: people of prayer - people who have to pray, and who have to pray always.

In the third chapter - on the third door - Nouwen presents a conversation between a farm laborer in his late 40's with a life-threatening situation and needs surgery to save his life - although surgery of course also represents a certain risk to his life. A young seminary student is assigned to be his chaplain - and it's hard for the student to see how to connect with and minister to the older man - a man who's lived his life full of physical labor. Such a life seems so foreign to the student - who's life is comprised almost entirely of books, thoughts and abstract concepts. To the student the farmer seems both afraid of surgery and afraid to live after surgery - depending on how successful it is. To the farmer - the student seems afraid to work - and afraid to speak. Neither can see that what they have in common is precisely what unsettles them both - their fears. Nouwen lays out three principles of Christian Leadership - 1. personal concern for others with the courage to express affection, listen generously, offer a forgiving embrace ... 2. Faith in the value and meaning of life - and the realization that every experience holds new promise ... 3. Hope - which makes it possible to look beyond the fulfillment of wishes and offers a vision beyond human suffering - even beyond death.

The final chapter looks at the fourth door; at the wounded minister. This chapter looks at the wounded condition of ministers - the loneliness that is often a condition of the profession - as well as how that very loneliness can become the bridge that grounds ministers in their calling and gives them the necessary insight to speak words of hope to those they minister to. Nouwen cautions that "When ministers live with these false expectations and illusions they prevent themselves from claiming their own loneliness as a source of human understanding, and are thus unable to offer any real service to the many who don't understand their own suffering." But - a "deep understanding of our own pain makes it possible for us to convert our weakness into strength and to offer out own experience as a source of healing to those who are often lost in the darkness of their own misunderstood sufferings. He follows this line of thought up by saying "Making ones own wounds a source of healing, therefore, does not call for a sharing of superficial personal pains, but for a constant willingness to see one's own pain and suffering as rising from the depth of the human condition that we all share." and "Christian community is therefore a healing community not because wounds are cured and pains are alleviated, but because wounds and pains become openings or occasions for new vision."

Henri Nouwen wrote dozens of other books such as Life of the Beloved and Return of the Prodigal among others. He led a fascinating life and ministered with compassionate purpose. This book, The Wounded Healer was written as something of a small, simple yet imminently useful handbook of ministry. He was also integral to the founding of L'Arche communities - which deserve a post all their own. If you aren't familiar - L'Arche offers homes for intellectually disenfranchised persons - that seek to allow them to live meaningful lives of contribution and joy integrated into society through communal living. 

Monday Funday!

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend! Here's your dose of Monday laughs - and as always - there's more over on the Blessed are the Funny board on Pinterest.

Next Topic of Exploration: Salty Speech

Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU! For sticking with me through the Grace Habit discussion. The last post - lessons from - will come at some point in the future - it's proving tricking to pin down - but worth clarifying for sure.

But - within the next week or so I'm going to look at speech. 

Speech is one of the more powerful tools we run around with on the daily. Of all the faculties we have - I believe it's the one that's closest to God's own creative capacity. With our words we can create friendship, community, love, harmony, peace, purpose ... or not. It was the power of speech that God toppled in the account of the Tower of Babel. With some well chosen words President Kennedy send the U.S. to the moon.

We also rely on words to tell stories, sing songs and connect with a loved one. We can - with this gift - give those around us a sense of our extraordinary love and commitment to their well-being - or we can crush a soul with a torrent of cruel words. Even more so with silence. Careless speech can divide communities, churches and families. Cruel speech designed to strike can weary a nation.

Unlike the Grace Habit - where I came to the series well after hundreds and hundreds of hours of study and thought and discussion. This topic I'm approaching it with newfound curiosity, hunger for something different. Lately I've felt inclined to take a look at this in the last few months and I've been slowly blocking off time to engage in this study. I feel convicted. 

Of course I grew up in the church - so most of the low-hanging fruit things to say about speech I've heard over and over. In fact - I'll admit that some aspects of my speech have been reactionary. I grew up in a church where it was tantamount to heresy to utter a single curse. I grew up in a home where I was not allowed to call my brother "dumb and stupid" (though strangely I knew how to sign it in American Sign Language). I have a vivid memory of my brother coaching me to say something to my mom as a toddler that when she heard me resulted in the strangest look on her face - and then she immediately got up and soaped my suddenly not-laughing-anymore brothers mouth. Aaaaahh. Sibling fun. Anyway - swearing was a big no no at church, at home and elsewhere. Yet - I heard spitefulness, gossip and hate. So for years I've spoken more or less like Yosemite Sam - but worked hard to not speak hatefully - to eschew throwing shame and contempt around. I still do think that those are incredibly destructive.

But isn't there much more to speech? Isn't there much more we can do with it? Is the work done and the day over - let the cows go back to the barn - if you've merely managed to say poo not "$#@^" and dropped no bombs and been a "pretty decent person"? Is that really it?

What about encouraging one another, building up one another, speaking grace and comfort into one another's lives - what about speaking truth ... or a real challenge - what about not speaking - and just listening? 

Can we do even more with speech? Where I'm really headed with this - is "how can I learn to speak the maximum grace into the lives of those God's put around me?" Another way to put this pursuit might be to ask, "How can I tame my tongue (James 3) and make of it a gift of obedience to God and speak honestly, authentically, lovingly, creatively in other's lives. It's not that I haven't always more or less wanted to speak in this way - but rather that I wasn't as clear about the necessity or value of this pursuit until recently. I've been looking at experiments in speech in secular research and reading up on things I had no idea even existed.

In general the blog schedule will continue as it is going forward - though with a couple of name changes. It was a complete spur-of-the-moment decision to call the posts on the various books I've presented "Good Reads" - and this is probably not ideal as there's a huge thing called "Good Reads" - so I'll continue discussing various books - but I'll come up with something else to call it.

Thanks again - praying you all have a wonderful weekend!

Cool Person Alert: Athanasius of Alexandria

Athanasius - born to well-to-do Christian parents in Alexandria at a time when Alexandria was the center of trade in the Roman Empire and in most ways epitomized not only the diversity of it but many of its ideals. His parents gave him an excellent secular education and some of his teachers were leaders of the church who were later targeted for martyrdom in the tenth and last persecution by Roman pagans of Christians in the Roman Empire. This experience surely influenced Athanasius' own life as a leader of the church in Alexandria and beyond. Perhaps he even drew courage from his teachers' martyrdom when he faced his own perils including threats on his life and five times being exiled. Athanasius had been taught by bold men how to not back down - though it's generally thought he wasn't particularly tactful or diplomatic.

Regardless, Athanasius was apparently a credit to his formal education and self-education in Scripture because no sooner had he completed it - but he began to quickly establish himself as a theological force to reckon with in the church in Alexandria. He became especially known for his commitment to argue eloquently against ideas of that day that were in some cases and places considered orthodoxy. Athanasius believed that it was only due to less educated believers generally under-appreciating the centrality of these pseudo-orthodoxies to the power of salvation itself.

While Athanasius disliked many of the teachings of that day that relied on pagan philosophy to support their arguemnts no idea of that era epitomized all that Athanasius considered heretical than that promoted by a Presbyter of Alexandria named Arius. Arius taught and led a school of theology that believed that the Son of God did not always exist - but had at some point had been begotten by God - and therefore was subordiniate to God. This idea became known as Arianism. Arianism was widely accepted at one time - and stood opposed to the idea of Trinitarianism - which holds that idea that Jesus' could only be our means of salvation if he was fully man and fully God - and fully God meant that he'd been in existence with God from the beginning. This is actually such a gross simplification of the beliefs and arguments that if you're interested at all you'll want to dig in much deeper. This post deals with Athanasius himself more than the theology he taught.

Athanasius' adult life was almost entirely dedicated to the above conflict - and it was because of the political and theological forces that spanned all across the Roman Empire - that he was exiled not once - but 5 times - for his outspoken defense of this view that is so easily taken for granted by us today. It is nearly impossible for us to imagine today the storms of confusion that raged among the leaders of the Church in the centuries that followed the passing of the Apostles as they dissected and parsed out every imaginable nuance of the New Testament writings to divide out these larger questions. They struggled mightily with each other to identify all the very terms we still are eager to make plain - salvation, forgiveness, heaven, propitiation, and all the rest - as well as what was at really at stake behind every notion of each of these terms and the aspects of Christian faith that they underpin. Despite their having the tremendous advantage of fluency in the languages the Apostles wrote in - they had a blank slate before them when it came to "precedence" for comprehending these terms' essence. This was as complex for them as it is for us now thousands of years later - and at the time of Athanasius of Alexandria's leadership - even orthodoxy wasn't orthodoxy.

Though Athanasius is considered a founding leader or even saint of many of the ancient churches of Christianity around the Mediterranean - he was not always saintly in his pursuit of his ideals and the power that ensured he could continue to promote them to the widest audiences. This meant that there were disputes about his election as 20th Bishop of Alexandria - regarding his not even being 30 yet. Some accused him of stealing grain from the church for money which he used for his own purposes. One of his exiles was a result of his refusing a direct order from the Emperor Constantine to receive Arius into fellowship again. Some of Constantine's purpose in holding the Council of Nice was to address this conflict between Athanasius and Arius and Arius even signed the Nicean Creed. Those who couldn't find other grounds to dismantle Athanasius' arguments against Arianism resorted to belittling his race and stature and called him a "Black Dwarf" Needless to say this fight between differing schools of theological thought was an ugly one and I think if you dug in deep enough you'd have the makings of a Jason Bourne meets Hotel Rwanda sort of movie. The conflict - even if we don't know it precisely - still echoes today - even if the vast majority of modern Christians can't imagine a non-trinitarian view.

All told Athanasius of Alexandria spent approximately 14 years in exile (336-338, 341-346, 356-359, 362-363 and 363-366) His exiles varied in severity and hostility - three out of the five exiles were at the direction of the Emperor - two for holding opposing theological views (Constantine and Valens) and one, Julian, for just not liking Christianity. There were two ten year periods when Athanasius produced most of his writings - between 346 and 356 and again between 363 and 373 - as apparently during his last exile he was still able to freely communicate, study and write. He died at home in his own bed surrounded by friends and supporters on May 2nd, 373, between the age of 75-79 (dates for his birth vary). 

So - without judgement - because after all - I'm not a historian - but rather more of a tourist at this point in my pursuit of understanding the history of the Church - here's the life of one who deserves remembrance - if not even a closer look - and at least as someone who does hold with Trinitarian theology - my gratitude for a heroic fight that put Athanasius' life at risk his whole life. I'm encouraged by this ancient Brother's courage to love the Word of God, to study it well, and to devote his life to its truth.

Resources:

Read a Christianity Today article in their Christian history blog on Athanasius by clicking

To start reading Athanasius of Alexandria's writings for yourself - brew a pot of coffee and start here.

The Wikipedia article on Athanasius lists all the churches which recognize him - each of those has volumes of information dedicated to his life and work. His life was remarkably well documented.

Grace Habit - Origin Story - Part 2

Pulling out of my garage and heading to Utah I headed out for my first vacation in years.  I had zero expectation for the trip to fix my health issues - besides I was only going to be away for a 12 days. But sometimes listening to God in new places lead to new revelations - and that was my hope.

my groggy pooch, Phoebe, co-piloting

So - we left - and by we - I mean - I brought my dog along.  I pray about trips and such anyway quite a bit - about where to go and when to go - but this trip was especially prayed about - and every time I prayed about it - I'd envision my dog coming along. Okay.  

Something about leaving home while feeling so sick was unsettlingly. Go figure. But there comes a point when you just have to go.  It's like a leap of faith. We left just before 2pm (read: I nervously dilly-dallied) on Friday, May 16th 2014 and drove and drove - heading for Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument - a gorgeous federal park with dog-friendly regulations. 

Calf-Creek is in that canyon. 

By Sunday night we were camped out at Half-Creek park. The drive there was loaded with 14% gravely hair-pin turned grades down roads with sheer drop offs on either side. It dawned on me why God encouraged me to bring my dog along - she has a strange super-power ... she can with merely her presence encourage grown men to get up from their camp-sites - wander over with paper-plates laden with goodies from their grill and ask "may I please feed your dog?" I met so many people on that trip because of my (at that time) 11 year old collie-mix.  

We hiked - but not far - and we drove far out into the desert on two-tracks into areas so silent - it just seemed impossible that there could be so little noise in an expanse so huge. Knowing I wasn't really up for actual hiking - we'd meet rangers who'd kindly direct us to a couple of good trails. We'd go for a walk after breakfast - and before dinner - and spend the heat of the day - which because it was only May wasn't all that hot yet - parked on a camp-chair in the shade - my dog wooing grill-masters out of hunks of meat and me reading my through a pile of books. 

By the way - if you've never been to Utah - I seriously recommend it. The majority of the state is state park, national park, and federally protected wild-lands. Frequently it's one park across the road from another. The whole place is a shocking variety of natural beauty.

After days of gorgeous scenery we were headed back to the stunning condo in Colorado and I heard a Dr. being interviewed who specialized in precisely the very breathing problem I had. The slim chance of just happening to catching that exact interview was extraordinary. Back then I'd lose focus, fall asleep, or forget all the details of what I'd just heard - or where I'd heard it. The minute we were settled back in the condo - I started reading the book. It was a double whammy - because it was easier to breathe in this very dry air - and now I was reading a book that laid out not only what was wrong with my lungs but how to fix it! Eureka!!

view from the condo - overlooking the Rockies 

Seems that back when I was first sick with pneumonia + H1N1 - somewhere along the way a third infection came into play caused by a bacteria called c. pneumoni notorious for stubbornly carrying on - eventually spreading from the lungs - to wherever it pleased. Within hours of arriving back home I hand-delivered the book to my doctor - and started calling this researcher's office for more info. They were happy to provide it: white-papers, JAMA articles, newspaper articles, and web-sites run at their own cost by former patients who'd had the lung infection. That community of people was incredibly encouraging. Treatment could last up to 18 months - but I did not want it to last one day longer than necessary - so I contorted my diet again - and drank hundreds of spinach and kale smoothies, and wheat-grass shots galore, and other immune boosting, inflamation fighting ill-tasting goops.  One day a former patient recommended that I see a respiratory therapist and learn specific breathing exercises that could speed up healing - I got on the phone and made an appointment that afternoon. 

The thing about breathing exercises is that they're awkward. Something you literally can do with zero thought and yet these exercises were so complex that there's actually a risk of blacking out. But as soon as the breathing exercises stopped being such an adventure they very rapidly became so boring. So I began imagining that I was doing them in my favorite place in the world:  Isle Royale National Park.

That was better – but it seemed like I could improve it even more – so I started imagining that I was doing the breathing exercises sitting in front of a cozy campfire on Isle Royale. While this was an improvement – I still wanted more. So soon I was doing the breathing exercises imagining myself sitting on Isle Royale, at my favorite campground, in front of a campfire next to Jesus.  And now the heat from the fire became the heat of His love.  And still I wanted more – so any negative thing – a worry about my health, grief, whatever – it all went into the fire.  And what does adding fuel to the fire do?  That’s right!  It makes the fire burn bigger – brighter – hotter.  So the worse I felt – the warmer and brighter I felt Jesus’ love for me.

I think I could live to be 500 – and if you came along and reminded me of the moment that I really first started settling into this practice – you could immediately bring me to tears.  Jesus flooded my soul with His love and in short order I was engaging in this practice for longer and longer periods of time.  My respiratory therapist said she’d never seen anyone work so dutifully at their breathing exercises.  I tried to explain what I’d stumbled upon.  She just stared – and finally said:  “Well, I’m an atheist. But that sounds nice.”

That was 3 years ago. It took longer than I'd hoped to finish treatment - but much less than it could have. Treatment was just one part of healing - it took nearly two years after treatment for my health to return to normal - or at least what I think is normal - it's hard to really know after such a long time. As amazing as it is to feel well-rested, well-breathed (if I can make up a term) and totally free of all the besetting health issues - the work that God did in me - on my walk with Him during that whole season is even more amazing. My sense of God’s love has exploded beyond what I thought was possible. 

I'm aware that many people are far sicker for far longer periods of time with far worse circumstances and less hope of recovery. I'm aware that my situation could've been so much worse. I'm also aware - as I look back on things today - that there were some things I could've done to have made that season much easier. I didn't know about those things back then though.

If the result of that whole season was that on this side I would walk even closer with God and stumble upon the grace habit - then I'm okay with how things played out. God was worth it.  

I kept the info on my health vague-ish because this isn't a blog about health and I do not dispense health advise. My goal was to communicate just enough info to paint a picture - the point of this post and the part one post is just to say that I was in a desperate place - and God mercifully rescued me on more levels than just my health. I can't help but think that if the Grace Habit could help me in that season - who could it not help? 

Good Reads: The Pursuit of Holiness

Jerry Bridges  1929-2016

This little book - my version is barely 160 pages - written by one of the vice presidents of Navigators, Jerry Bridges, holds in its few pages some pretty big ideas regarding what it is to walk with Jesus.  Jerry Bridges passed away last year - and while I'm sure his greatest gift to those who knew him well was not this book - but rather the conscious life-choices that became the soil out of which this book grew.  With millions of copies in print - this is one of the better known books that crosses faith-lines easily and seems to be growing - not slowing in influence. 

I remember feeling a bit of a gut-punch when I read this book's title - but the first chapter opened so relatably - that I Bridges had already hooked me and I wanted to know everything this man knew about living more free from sin's tricks to trip us up. Bridges wrote about having his time with God interrupted by a phone call from an antagonising personality who was in rare form that morning ... 

"As my emotions subsided, my anger turned to utter discouragement.  It was onlyl 8:30 in the morning and my day was ruined. Not only was I discouraged - I was confused. Only two hours before I had read Paul's emphatic declaration, "For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace." But despite this nice sounding promise of victory over sin, there I was locked in the vise-like grip of anger and resentment."

Reading these words - I was positive that Bridges had been peeking in on my house - where I rented a shared room from a campus ministry, sharing the single bathroom with 4-5 other women all scrambling at the last minute to get out the door to class every morning. I had nearly the same experience as often as not - of composing myself in my prayer and Bible study - only to fly out the back door with that composure lost.

Okay - can we just stop for a moment and acknowledge that the whole topic of sin is still dicey. We want to do it less - but not live riddled to uselessness with guilt, we want to strengthen our ability to live free of it - but not become so inflated with legalism and self-righteousness that we poison the communities that we love. Sin is one of those conversations Christians can have - which when spoken of in earnest - compels us to stretch ourselves to the heights of theology, discipleship and philosophy. Sin is that many-disguised thing that knows all of our buttons and plays whack-a-mole on them. Sin is also that awful thing in us that toys with and rationalizes getting away with this or that "just this one time."  For me - this book was a wonderful first-tool to go into my tool-box as a young Christian university student - and Bridges' love of godliness and gracious pursuit of it greatly encouraged me.  If my review of this book falls short of imparting that sense in you (and it very probably will) - don't hold that against the book.

Now -back to the book.

Bridges divided this hefty topic regarding which millions of pages have been written - into 17 chapters - each centered around a different Scripture promise, principle or precept regarding sin. Considering his conciseness - and the fact that that total page count includes an author bio, forward, preface and afterward - he devotes a mere average of 8 pages to each of these chapters. What I'm saying in all this - is this little book will not waste a single second of your precious time. Bridges published this book when he was 49 - but you can sense the years of experience behind his own Pursuit of Holiness and the maturity behind his own walk shines through as he deftly divides the common pitfalls that can occur so easily in these conversations.  

“The Holy Spirit makes us aware of our lack of holiness to stimulate us to deeper yearning and striving for holiness. But Satan will attempt to use the Holy Spirit’s work to discourage us.” 
― Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness

Bridges lays out three primary problems that we must face when we think about growing to maturity - which of course means tackling our sinful nature.

First:  our attitude toward sin is more self-centered than God-centered.

Second: we have misunderstood "living by faith" (Galatians 2:20) to mean that no effort at holiness is required on our part.

Third:  we do not take some sin seriously.

The changing fashions in language and Christian writing might or might not fog the truth of these words - but for me they certainly still ring true.

From this discussion Bridges launches into chapters defining and clarifying God's Holiness for us, how our holiness - even if we could attain it - would still as one Christian from by-gone centuries said - "even our tears of repentance must be washed in the blood of Christ!" and the Holiness of Christ.  The ideas in these chapters brighten and illuminate just what is meant by holiness.  

Bridges then moves on to break down in a theologically tight but encouragingly vulnerable discussion on what it looks like for sinful man sanctified by the sacrificial act of the Lamb of God to redeem us to our Heavenly Father - to transfer citizenship from the kingdom of the earth to the kingdom of heaven. Again - he begins this chapter with an utterly relatable statement of the facts.

"Having experienced failure and frustration with our sin problem, we are delighted to be told that God has already done it all that we only need to rest in Christ's finished work. After struggling with our sins to the point of despair, this  new idea is like a life preserver to a drowning man, almost like hearing the gospel for the first time"

Bridges talks honestly about how easily we become "confused by Satan on the issue of what God has done for us and what we must do for ourselves."

The rest of the book lays out the battle that ensues upon our conversion - and all the parts of that fight - the help that God offers, God's preference to speak of our obedience instead of the notion of "victory", how we must put sin to death, the role of personal discipline, and outlines three areas in which we must pursue God's holiness - namely in our bodies, our spirits and our wills.

Once upon a time I re-read this book yearly - and after re-reading it for the first time in a while - I'm thinking that may not be a bad habit to return to for a season at least. 

This book has remained near and dear to me for a long time - as this was the very first book I read in the context of discipleship. I started reading it over my junior year at Michigan State with a campus ministry worship leader named Lauren. In typical fashion (for Lauren - not me) we read through this book a chapter at a time over the course of more than one 10-week term; and we read every last word of it. Some of you who know me know that I never really outgrew that ability we have when we're younger to tire people questions - and no one has ever endured that quite like Lauren. We ended up discussing the material in these chapters over the course of two to three hours some evening - sitting in her basement opposite ends of her couch - with her dogs and cat not far away. I'm not sure what led her to choose this book - but by the time we read through it together it had already been in print for over a decade and still showed no signs of losing traction. In fact it's still in print - with renditions and updates. This is one of those books that I have bought and gifted so often - that I lose count. There are books that "belong to their time" - and there's nothing wrong with that - but I'm especially interested in those books on chasing after God which ring true decade after decade and are not written because of their market-ability - but because of their inherent spiritual value.

While other books by Jerry Bridges are available through our local library - this one is not - though you can obtain it (with a little more patience) through inter-library loan outside of the Winding Rivers system. That said - it's an inexpensive book - I'm happy to loan mine out again too.  

Monday Funday!

Hope you all had a lovely weekend and were able to spread some Mom's Day Cheer.  We've got just another couple of weeks before Memorial Day - so hang in there everyone!  Here's your dose of funny for today.  If you want more - go ahead and check out our Blessed are the Funny board on Pinterest. 

Grace Habit Wrap Up: Origin Story - Part 1

If you know me at all - you know I write - a lot.  There's 1000's of pages of journal entries. On top of that I write stories - boiled stories, mashed stories - stick 'em in a stew stories ... or something like that.  I've even started writing poetry these days.  Words - rarely fail me - and yet when it comes to succinctly and clearly laying out the origin story for the grace habit - my head is a blender-full of whirling syllables and images. Not helpful.

So - what follows is far from a thorough origin story - which kinda bugs because man do I love thoroughness!! But because I like you - I will not torture you.  I've had several people tell me I should really put the whole thing into a book but my efforts to put this to words at all has made it clear that I just don't have that level of clarity - yet.  So ... here we go

actual photo of me the moment my life broke

After decades of pursuing Jesus full on - I broke my life.  I wanted so much to do so much good - that I got carried away building up and sent all the little pieces of my life toppling over when I pulled that one jenga piece out ... you might have seen it ... Here I am - balancing my over-stretched life - and trusting Jesus will make everything okay.

Just for fun let me name a few of those jenga pieces ... the tanking economy, burn-out, exhaustion, my mom's passing, joint injury after joint injury, insomnia, friends who did precisely what friends shouldn't, my church community struggling, student run-aways, more loved ones passing, JC's struggling, worse insomnia, the economy getting even worse (how??), a nasty round of H1N1 + pneumonia, God seemingly put me on hold with bad muzak, mis-diagnoses, more insomnia, more joint injuries, still worse insomnia, lousy friends unlocked a horrible-ness achievement and attain super powers of dastardliness, playing round after round of "hey - look who else is on Facebook Messenger at 3am!" - and all of this coated in shame while I scrambled to "fix it".

I tried all sort of miracle "murican" cures like restoring all the things through the pursuit of fitness (read: more injuries) and the healing power of traveling to Las Vegas.  Everything in the last 3 or so paragraphs took place in about 9 months.

me - fixing my life right up

It was literally breathtaking - in every single possible wrong way.  All "solutions" were horrible.  Behind door #1 - dive into the deep end of medical ignorance - but they were already torturing me with horrible meds, misdiagnoses and worst of all: disdain.  (which kinda stinks because I know a dumb amount of stuff about health and am not actually dumb).  Behind door #2 - quit the ministry ... I mean - seriously - this was a hard season. zero fun potential ... yet JC's is my calling.  Or door #3 - quit my job ... which was also zero fun and zillions of stress. Of course - my job did give me this stuff ... you might have heard of it ... money ... and health insurance.

Naturally - I picked door number three and quit my job - cuz' you know - who needs a stable pay-check and insurance when you've got Jesus?

actual shot immediately after opening door number 3

So - to all the above jenga blocks o' fun - I added a nifty block called: fund-raising. It took forever - because I was a hot sick sleepless mess and already working enough hours for a couple of people - but hey - this was my magic door - right? It felt good to focus. Except ... strange things kept happening ... for-instance - I kept getting sicker, sleeping less, and those darn friends - it's like they were reading straight out of the book of Job. So - while I was sure I'd picked the right door - it felt a bit like that box thingy up there and to the left ...  

first day full-time with JC's!

It took forever - but finally - the pieces were in place - I had fund-raised enough to quit ... there was still more fund-raising to do - but I could stop working myself quite literally to death.  It was beautiful.

You know this doesn't end well - right?

Literally upon arriving home after my last day at work - more joint injuries, donors bailed, and Jobs 3 friends showed up to make sure I knew that this was all because I was a horrible lying person with zero faith.  *sigh*

Really?

I wish I could say that this is when things got better.  They only got better in the sense that now the plot thickened - and the suspense deepened ... it was kind of like when you're Samwise and you're thinking - oh thank goodness - we made it - Frodo just has to drop the ring over the edge ... 

This was the point at which I became frighteningly sick. I didn't advertise it - after years of illness - my feet were swollen they hurt, I was covered in sores, I smelled sick. Apparently I wasn't fooling pros though - as random health professionals would give me their business cards - I was really sick.  Scary & awful things were going wrong with my body and essentially no one knew.  No one really knew with what.  I had horrible insurance.  No community.  I was on the verge of losing my house. I made peace with the idea of never getting well ... this was the darkest time of my life and it dragged on for years as I got sicker and sicker and sicker.  I did not delude myself for one second into thinking that God would let me croak - and then show up when I was four days dead to resurrect me.  He merely seemed "pleased to crush" me.

realistic view of my life at the lowest

approximation of my comfort level after making peace with my life

Making peace with living sick in my case looked like living life sitting down - which was a necessity because I had zero energy.  I budgeted my energy tighter than my actual budget.  If you know me - you know that's saying something.  I gave up backpacking - and took up learning church history.  Kayaking was traded in for quilting.  I started having the longest times with God you can imagine ... because God seemed to be back - and this was the only thing that filled my tank. I desperately wanted to live in a world where God saves the day - and I am fully committed to letting God be God - free of boxes - and in faith gave over more and more because - after all - who am I to tell God what a saved day has to look like. I believe walking by faith means we follow where God leads. 

whoa!  now that's some gripping-onto-God power!

Some interesting things did start to happen in this "make peace" phase though.  Really interesting.  Like God began putting new friends in my life - and old friends in a new way - and this community - this new circle of friendships - well they flat out ran circles around the old ones even in the best of times. But I also learned that as hurt as I'd felt - as abandoned as I'd felt by God - I couldn't make good on walking away from Him.  I just don't have it in me.  In fact - I came through that part of the storm with an ability to grip Him and hang onto Him - that just slays me.  It's not me.  It's Him. Trust me on this one.

Also - I don't seem to really have it in me to give up on health - so this became what I ate - and I thought - there has to be a way to sleep again.  So began at least 18 months of experimentation - which when you can't breathe (read: you're living with oxygen deprivation) and insomnia (read: sleep deprivation) means - you forget all the things all the time!!  So I'd mow my lawn - rake it into a bowl - and eat it without dressing - it tasted like hate and anger - but it paired well with mountains of little rubbery supplements. 

I also don't seem to have it in me to give up on my calling - so I planned a big 'ol camping trip. Obviously. Backpacking might have been out of the question - but I was going to go into the desert and sit on a rock - and square things away with Jesus.  

So this is the season that the Grace Habit was born into - and I'll finish bringing this story home with Part 2 - next Wednesday.

Praying you all have a wonderful and lovely Mother's Day weekend and Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there!

Cool Person Alert: Billy Sunday

William Ashley Sunday - was to those living in the late 19th and early 20th century what Billy Graham is to us - and just in case you've never heard of the previous century's large evangelistic revival meeting preaching Billy - I'd love to dedicate this post to his life and work.

Baby William - or as we'll call him for the rest of this post - Billy - was the youngest son born (in 1862) to a poor German couple who'd settled in Ames, Iowa. Just weeks after Billy was born - his father died of pneumonia shortly into his time volunteering with the 23rd Iowa Volunteer Regiment's service for the Union army during the Civil War. This tragic loss to the Sunday family resulted in the family's fortunes dwindling to the point that at age 10 Billy's mother sent Billy and an older brother to an orphans home - no longer able to pay for their care herself.  

Orphanage life - though very hard on Billy and leaving him with life-long fears of loss and abandonment - did teach him a few useful things:  how to live in an orderly fashion, how to work hard, and that he had raw athletic talent. However useful those lessons were - Billy was eager to leave and by 14 was on his own - exchanging farm work for food and board with the Scott's family in Nevada, Iowa. Though Billy's unstable and impoverished life didn't not afford him an abundance of educational opportunities - he had a knack for pursuing learning on his own - such as with the Scott family - who encouraged him to attend high school. Even though Billy didn't graduate - he was widely considered to have a better than average education when compared to his peers.  

By age 18 Billy - known for his athletic ability - was recruited by the Marshalltown, Iowa fire-brigade team (an early form of fire-department) and played now and again with the local baseball team until he was finally talent-scouted and sent off to play for the Chicago White Stockings as a center fielder. He was fast - and probably due to his early life's troubles - focused and hard-working. On top of that however - he was handsome, had a winning personality - and quickly became a hit with the fans. Billy's level of responsibility and reliability made him popular with team owners and backers too. Though traded around a bit - he frequently came to have leadership responsibilities on his teams including team manager and team captain.  

In either 1886 or 1887 Billy's team-mates were out of town one weekend - and Billy was wandering around town by himself and came upon an out-door church meeting. Drawn in by the group's singing hymns Billy remembered his mother singing went in. Soon Billy began returning and participating more and more until after some conversations with the leader of the group - a matronly woman - about struggles he had with the nature of becoming a Christian he converted and renounced drinking, swearing, gambling and altered his behavior so much so quickly that it was immediately apparent to not only his teammates but his fans. His transformation drew attention from churches and communities as the team traveled about playing games and he began speaking at YMCA's.

In 1891 - after a dispute that lead to the formation of a new league - Billy - rather than breaking his contract to join the new league - gave up his career in baseball - and the $3,500 salary (equivalent to about $90,000 now) and instead went to work as the assistant to a then famous revival preacher named Wilbur Chapman for $996 per year (or about $25,000 now). By this time Billy was married and was starting a family. His role as assistant required him to be out of town more and more - but he and his wife were committed to ministry. Billy's work required him to go to the next town - ahead of Chapman and set up prayer meetings, Bible studies, and network among the local churches. He often pitched the meeting tent himself - and slept under it to provide security. His work with Chapman also became his education in all the pastoral arts of the day - how to efficiently handle all the logistics of a traveling ministry in the 1890's, how to project his voice, and how to preach spell-binding rousing sermons. 

By 1896 Billy split off from Chapman and launched his own ministry. The strain on his finances and young family increased - but they soldiered on. Billy continued handling all the pre tent-revival logistics - but added to these considerable duties - all the responsibilities of developing his own sermon materials - honing his own delivery and ministering to his own growing crowds. Billy sometimes promoted his ministry by putting on his professional baseball uniform and arranging for spontaneous baseball games and series - often playing on multiple teams made up from local businesses and organizations. Baseball crowds led to evangelistic tent revival meeting crowds.

Billy's preaching style drew heavily on his own athleticism - and his few notes when he had them - were printed large enough so he could read them at a glance as he raced from one edge of the stage to the other - striking one after another of his characteristic poses. By this time he had a well-trained voice and had years of sermon training under Chapman - and knew his business well. Crowds gathered in ever greater numbers. Billy's ministry began to thrive and though his family felt his absence sharply - their financial needs were no longer so great. There were over 70 Midwestern cities that Billy regularly traveled through and Billy called this route the "Kerosene Circuit" as most of these towns had no electricity and relied heavily on keorsene to light his revival tent. His reputation and ministry continued to grow - until one day when a sudden and severe storm destroyed his tent.

The loss of his tent along with the now unendurable strain his absence was on his family signaled the need for a change. The heavy burden that had fallen to his wife of not only raising 4 children (the youngest an infant) by herself - but also running the household and supporting Billy's ministry. The ministry also had seemed to stagnate a bit. The hardships Billy suffered in his early life made the endless time away from family eventually too painful to bear - he struggled with loneliness. So the Sunday's came to the decision to allow another couple to raise their children so they could travel together. Mrs. Helen Sunday became the business manager - a task she seemed well suited for. Soon - towns scheduled in advance for the Sunday's ministry to arrive - engaging in a barn-raising style wooden tabernacle-building event and then welcoming not just Billy to the stage - but Billy plus his co-ed staff of 26 including singers, organizers, and evangelists - both men and women who led special meetings focusing on issues specific to men, women and children.

Sunday's ministry had enormous influence - greater than any others' it seemed - and I would argue that aspects of it would be recognizable to any conservative church goer today - even if they didn't know the origins. Sunday was unapologetically out-spoken about the inerrancy of scripture, the evils of drinking, gambling, swearing, promiscuity and every other form of sexual sin. Standing up to speak in a splendid and fashionable suit with all the accessories he preached loud, eloquent, energetic, forceful and Bible intensive sermons. He became involved in the temperance movement and politicized over the issue of Prohibition. If you were in a conservative, "Bible-belt" church recently - you probably saw many of the same qualities in the service.

Some of the more unique features - for the day at least - to Sunday's preaching style were that he rarely participated in the bashing of other denominations. This was back in a time when members of other denominations were regularly counted as much among the lost as someone who'd never set foot in a church in their entire lives. Referral cards filled out by revival meeting attendees where they indicated what denomination they grew up - were returned to those denominations - unlike many preachers of the day who would return such cards only to their own denomination. His evangelistic and worship teams were made up of men and women. He and his staff also spoke openly and specifically about the evils of "amusements" as he called sins that distracted believers and ensnared sinners. Sermons on these topics were so graphic and explicit that it was not uncommon for a dozen men to faint during the service. But the crowds loved it! So much so that soon - the Sundays were making in a day what their peers were making in a year. Critics of Sunday's ministry said that he was preaching the "old doom and gloom" and frightening people to the cross. Others decried the explicit nature of his "amusements" messages.  I searched and searched - but kept coming up with only this clip from Sunday preaching live - in Winona, Minnesota of all places. There are other videos - but are more biographical where as this one - though of frustrating quality to modern ears - is a concentrated clip of Sunday himself preaching. 

Billy's ministry declined after 1919 - whether due to the end of World War 1 - or due to the advent of new technology (sermons broadcast by radio) or his becoming a somewhat less energetic and handsome a preacher than he'd been in the past. Regardless - his influence lives on in churches and the expectation of churches all over the country.

Grace Habit ... um ...

Now I know none of you can relate to this - a week full of unforseen circumstances, last minute fires to put out and so on ... something had to give for me this week - so ... uh - I played hooky.  

Praying you all had an AWESOME Wednesday!

Regular programming to resume shortly!

Good Reads: Mister God, This Is Anna.

Way back in the day - I was an exchange student in rural Austria.  For a year my host family let me live in their multi-generational and ancestral home (built in 1698!) on their farm of cows, pigs, chickens, wheat, hay and potatoes.  I LOVED every minute of it.  I cannot imagine who I am today without that experience.

While there - I read the only book in the house written in English - "Mister God, This Is Anna" - an endearing little story tenderly written decades after the events therein - describing a little London homeless, not quite 5 years old girl named Anna. Her parents were alcoholics and essentially absent when not abusively present. Her tragic circumstances had forced her to unbelievable heights of precociousness and insight. One dark night - Anna stepped out and intentionally put herself in "Fynn's" path. Fynn - was her hand-picked guardian was a former athlete - huge and muscular - but getting on with a tragic back injury.  Fynn is also the name of an ancient celtic god - known for being huge. Fynn took Anna in - cared for her bruised little body - and began to care for her soul as best as he knew how (Fynn was at the time considering the priesthood but "felt he wasn't sure enough") The man who wrote the book under the nom de plum of Fynn and lived his life by that among other nick-names revealed himself late in life to be none other than Sydney George Hopkins. Hopkins - a well educated man, better off than many of his peers - brought Anna into his household around November of 1935.  It was said that Hopkins - or Fynn as he liked to be called was a "cockney Samson" and that you "could not like him, you could only love him."  

the edition of the book I read was full of delightful drawings like this by William Papas

An unusual friendship sprang up between Fynn and Anna - and Fynn found Anna to be a truly interesting child - a practical prodigy when it came to thinking about God and humanity.  She was known to make comparisons between what she thought of "Mister God" as she consistently called God - and how the people at "cherch" thought about God.  Her observations ranged from amusing to piercing. It was hard for my teenaged mind to grasp that this child was real - not a literary figure.  Apparently this was a common reaction to the book.  But there is a treasure trove of information that came out long after the book - about the real man, Hopkins, including remembrances not only of him - but of Anna too - and it seems to have all been real.  

Fynn refers to Anna in the book as "A bomb with legs on" - due to her precocious capacity to drop bomb-shell ideas on those expecting her to think and speak like any other child. Anna's generosity of spirit and willingness to wholly trust Fynn however - won her a special place in his heart - so much so that it took him decades to write the book.  That difficulty was owed in large part to the fact that Anna died as a child - in a tragic accident - and her death was nearly Hopkins' undoing.  Yet - the very loss that shook him - was also the substance of the story that became a sudden hit - gaining printing all over Europe from the late 70's through the 80's. So much so that I learned the book had come into the house as required middle-school English reading for the daughters of the family I lived with in Austria.  You can read quite a bit more information about Sydney George Hopkins at this UK fan-page. 

Regarding the authenticity of the book - here's a quote from the publisher - which you can read for yourself here along with further information about the book.

I have been asked, “Is the book genuine?” My reply is that I won’t claim every word is verbatim. But the substance, mood and atmosphere are authentic. In all my publishing experience of over fifty years I have never handled such an amazing story.

WILLIAM COLLINS
Chairman, Collins Publishers, London   

I can easily imagine this little book - packing a whollop of a story for unsuspecting readers will stay around - not just because the characters are as wonderful as the story itself - but because especially in an age when so many discussions of God and faith so rapidly descend into dogma and territorial-ism - both Fynn and Anna's simple delight in God - their unique relationships to Him - and the utterly gripping observations they had about God - themselves, each other and the world are among the stickier words ever put to printed page. Mister God, This is Anna was the first of 3 books total by Fynn about Anna - though the first remained the best known.  Mister God, This is Anna is also -  most likely - available through your local library system.  It will be well worth your time and show you a world you hadn't quite seen before.

Sydney George Hopkins - later in life. 

Monday Funday!

Praying you all had a lovely weekend - the weather around here sure was gorgeous!  Here's your Monday Funday dose of humor - this week I went with an animal-theme:  Enjoy! (And as always - there's more over at Pinterest on the JC's Village humor board - blessed are the funny.

Grace Habit - Part 16 - Pharos & The Grace Habit

Among the seven ancient wonders of the world - the famed lighthouse - Pharos of Alexandria (around 260BC - until 1300AD) was the only utilitarian ancient wonder - a light - built to warn passing ships of the treacherous waters off that city's port.  Seafaring and shipping trade was probably as essential to civilization as we know as fire or language.  This huge lighthouse was the brain-child of an ancient think-tank called the "mouseian" and financially backed by Sostrates of Knidos who secured the 800 talent project (aka: about $3 million today).  Pharos - at about 450 feet tall - was second in height only to the Great Pyramid of Giza and withstood the forces of the Mediterranean for an incredible 16 centuries - including according to research into the remains - now accessible only via scuba diving - 22 earthquakes. During the day a polished metal disk reflected the sunlight out over the water.  At night - dung fires burned so brightly that some ship captains claimed the light was visible for 100 miles.  Since modern light houses can't be seen quite that far (due to the curvature of the earth and the limitations of lighting technology - so the Cape L'Agulhas lighthouse in South Africa at just 33' high - but located 238' above sea level is only visible for 50 miles - so maybe they smelled it?) Regardless of ancient exaggerations - there was nothing like Pharos anywhere else on earth and the idea of a light warning passing ships of dangerous waters spread everywhere to the degree that in many languages the Pharos became the root of their word for lighthouse.

Yet I can't shake the conviction that the potential for durability and light-shedding capability of God's great Love and Grace streaming out onto our lives could have an even greater impact. People are everywhere - Imagine living in a world where we'd all shine guiding lights of God's love to those around as a natural extension of our own deep and abiding connection to God's Grace and Love?  Could we live so connected and rooted in God's Love that the abundant over-flowing of our hearts (Luke 6:45) would be God's reflected back out onto the world?  Isn't that the point of the song we sang in Sunday school - "This Little Light of Mine"? - that we can take Jesus' light with us everywhere we go?  There are certainly treacherous waters - and such friendly lights would make the navigating better.

In Wednesday's post on the Grace Habit I intentionally put the word "Darkness" into the post title - not because I believe my life is/was ever the darkest of the dark - but because how can any life lived with less of God's love and Grace than we can hold be described any other way?  

However much some might say "people don't change" about this person or that person - the truth is we observe people changing all the time ... and it is invariably love that produces the most powerfully life-and-light giving positive changes.  The loner changes when they find the acceptance of a group of friends.  The young adult changes when they meet the love of their life. The new parent changes the first time that tiny hand grips their finger.  Those who suffer through the heavy and negative changes of trauma of one kind or another - find that the moving on from trauma is most aided by movement from the trauma of loss - into the life-giving boon of stepping into love and grace.  The few sentences above comprise some of the "17 potential plot lines" behind every book, play, movie ever written.  How - just wrong would the clip below be if Melvin Udall were merely brown-nosing a two-bit publisher?  But as it is - we can deeply relate to wanting not just show our best - but be our brightest, most colorful, strongest version of ourselves to those we love most.

Can you imagine - say - a movie where the main character is motivated to risk it all and against all odds give themselves down to their last ounce in order to ... please a grouchy coach? Or make the angry boss happy?  Who would put their life on the line for that potential mate - who'll never return that affection? These aren't just bad plot lines - they're the basis of psychological thrillers!  Surely we know that it is love, it's always been love - I'm not sure it can be anything but love that has sufficient strength and light to compel us to rise above, outlast all hardship, and be the best version possible of who God made us to be.  If the loves of our lives can impact us this way, if our pets - for crying in the dishes - can have this influence on us even - then imagine how much light we deny when we respond only to God's "stick" and turn a deaf ear to His "carrot" - despite the fact we'd be horrified if those around us viewed us this way. 

The loss of light or increase of darkness is literally incalculable.  And everything I've ever read suggests that among the many benefits to love - love makes us much more resilient to life's bumps and tumbles.  It's like aloe-vera for our souls to have confidence in our worth suggests that besides the awesomeness of all that - the growing cumulative impact of the above is that we become more resilient.  Resiliency.  Resiliency is defined as the capacity to recover quickly. It's like elasticity.  When we talk about "bouncing back" - we're describing resiliency. 

Imagine you can engage in ... well ... anything ... and be a little more resilient later today. Imagine that increased resilience could even stretch into tomorrow.  I think this is the basis of the entire adult coloring book thing ... which by the way ... is cool.  Imagine engaging in such a thing for say ... a week ... or a month? Or a decade? 

Point made - eh?  

Fair 'nuff ... how about a completely, just off this rock kind of idea?

Here's a WILD idea?  What if you finished not just today with more resilience ... but the summer - the decade.  What if within short order you were going about your day - not depleted of love - but topped off.  What if instead of starting your day dreading the negativity and damage that perhaps was awaiting around every other interaction - instead you were going about fresh from dozens if not hundreds of experiences of feeling not only lifted of each day's burdens - but filled to capacity with God's Love and Grace? What if our souls feasted daily on God's love?  At what point along that trajectory would you start to have wildly different conversations with the people you share your life with?  At what point would you start to have wildly different conversations with God?  What would you pray for - if you felt full of His love - understood all the little verbal and literal slings and arrows we encounter day to day to be about those people - and took them as motivations to pray for them?  What would we say to encourage one another if even just 10% of those in our faith community were as lifted as Jesus wants to lift us?  What if we could serve the world from a faith that isn't daily performing triage on us before we can really absorb a single truth from God?  I'm not suggesting that if we practice the Grace Habit we'd never have a bad day again ... I am suggesting that we'd have fewer bad days of our own making ... that there'd be less of all the things that tend to muddy the waters and confuse God's work in our lives.  I'm just wondering. 

After 1,000 days of practicing the Grace Habit in my own life - I am just floored by the difference it's made.  I absolutely salivate at the idea of a decade of this - or a generation raised not only with such a piercing light of Love - but without the self-inflicted torture of uncertainty, confusion, insufficiency.  If - as James 1:20 suggest - the anger of man cannot achieve the righteousness of God - how much less can love-starved soul of man achieve God's best?  At this point I'm much less curious about what it might be like - and much more focused on how can I have a taste of that life now.  God, the most powerful force in the universe sees you at your best at all times - and longs to teach you to think as He does - to see everyone as He does.  If you know of a better way to experience that than the Grace Habit - I insist you call me right now to tell me. I need to know. Thanks!

Cool Person Alert: Kahlil Gibran

In the late 19th century a teen-aged boy, named Khalil Gibran, born into a poor Lebanese Christian family immigrated to the United States - and continued writing poetry - but with such support as to become the third most famous poet of all time.  A clerical error at his school in his new country inaccurately recorded his name as Kahlil. Like many such school errors - it stuck.  He's known today nearly the world over as Kahlil Gibran.

So much of what you'll read today will be freshly minted quips, sound-bites and tid-bits - duly dated and thrown up in the social-stratosphere - but when did you last read the words of such globally appreciated poet - words that are timeless, deep ... resonant.  Too much of what we'll read today will be looked upon as "too old to be relevant" tomorrow - but Gibran's insights so beautifully expressed beckon to us with as gripping and fresh power today as they did when they were penned a century and a quarter ago half a world away.  Actually - perhaps it's because Gibran was born on one continent - and then immigrated to another - and studied both art and poetry that his words and images do in fact cut through so many of the trappings and limitations of the mad love we have of the ever newer, glitzier, blingy-ier.  He deftly exposes the permanent and everlasting nature of being human and pursuing the Divine - of being in search of a meaningful life so much so that what he created still speaks.

Kahlil was born relatively late in his mother Kamilah's life for the time - when she was 30.  His father, Girbran Khalil Gibran, was his mother's third husband - details about his parent's lives isn't particularly easy to come by.  His maternal grandfather was a priest in the Maronite Catholic tradition and the church continued to play a vital role in the Girbran household.  Due to previous marriges (Kamilah's dowry was gone) Gibran's were so poor that they could not afford to send little Khalil to school - so occasionally priests would visit the home and teach tutor him individually.  In 1891 Khalil's father was arrested and imprisoned for charges sometimes recorded as tax evasion, other times as embezzlement. His mother - unsure of his future and therefore theirs - made arrangements to immigrate to the United States to join her brother in Boston.  Gibran Khalil Gibran was released before the family left - but did not go to the US with them - rather stayed behind in Lebanon.

Once in the US Khalil's - now Kahlil's - talents in art and poetry gained him the attention of notable artists as he was highly skilled and talented in both of these very different areas of creative expression.  In 1904 Gibran had his first exhibition of original artwork - which led to him meeting Mary Elizabeth Haskell, whose patronage and support played a crucial role in his career - which led him to eventually become the third most published poet of all time - after Shakespeare and Laozu.  His most famous publication was released in 1921 and was called The Prophet - which wasn't initially received terribly well - but gradually gained steam until by the 30's he was a house-hold name.  His work enjoyed a resurgence of popularity during the 60's and he's still celebrated today in Lebanon as a literary hero. 

Gibran's Christianity - which was rooted in the experience of being part of a minority faith community in the predominantly Muslim Lebanon - figured centrally in many of his writings and works of art.  Perhaps because he had this formative experience of being "other" so often - he tapped into that universal experience of otherness we all feel from time to time.  Today - where it seems only the negative interactions between Christianity and Islam get much press - Gibran's work - replete with so many familiar themes to so much of the world and which so casually reflects a childhood brought up essentially peaceably beside Islam reads especially other-worldly for its ability to bridge misunderstanding with hope and peace. In fact it somehow seems to beckon us to a deepen our own connection with God wherever we might initiate that connection. 

Gibran Kahlil Gibran died at the age of 48 in 1931 of cirrhosis of the liver and tuberculosis. Though his life was shorter than many would have liked - by the time of his death he'd already produced over 700 works of art, and written published dozens of books of prose and poetry - before 1918 mostly in Arabic and after that time mostly in English.