Gift Number Twelve — JC's Village

A number of years ago I stumbled across Dr. Brene Brown’s TED talk that went so massively viral. Since then I’ve read everything she’s written and own quite a few of them. One of my favorites - that I’ve bought, given away, bought again and again - is her book The Gifts Of Imperfection.

Yesterday’s gift was letting go of negativity - today’s is letting go of what for many of us is one of the biggest (and most toxic) drivers of that negativity; perfectionism.

I feel like I get to speak about perfectionism with the expertise that people have when they were once gung-ho, over-the-top junkies on a particular thing - and then slam into a wall and come to realize that all the promises came to naught and you realize you went off the path you actually wanted to be on. I’ve sadly even had people tell me that I “gave” them perfectionism. Not sure it actually works like that - but perfectionism is a trap for sure.

Over a decade ago I began backing away from perfectionism - but when I hit those health troubles - it became crystal clear that perfectionism is a scam. We get told that if we have perfect lives if we buy the perfect things, banish all signs of imperfection and have all the perfect experiences - then we will finally - have … we’ll have … well surely we’ll be the envy of everyone and we’ll have the peace of mind that we are okay - or something. My perfectionism was driven by a desire, among other things, to not look like a fool or lead a stupid life. But the scam is that no matter how “perfect” you can get your life to be - there’s always going to be something else to “perfect” Perfectionism hounds us all - though I do think how it plays out differs by age and gender.

Regardless though - it’s a trap.

You are perfect now.

Let me rephrase that. You’re perfectly worthy now for Jesus to love, save and give all these gifts too.

So today’s gift is embracing imperfectionism, or better put - the beauty and strength of being alive which is to be a work of Grace in progress and as such to be a dynamic, growing, living, and breathing thing. If you have kids - you have a mess somewhere in your house. If you have pets - you have mess somewhere on your floors. If you have a family - you have things that need to be done and if you have a job, volunteer role, you have responsibilities to attend to.

I don’t know about you - but I’m happy to skip the perfectionism of perfect stuff and perfect social media. The victories - if they can be had at all - are way too hollow and fleeting.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Give me the meaningful pursuits of relationships that are healthy and growing, of trust blossoming, of greater peace, deeper laughs, and ever greater awareness of Jesus’ love and grace rattling in my head instead of silly worries about perfect lawns, perfect cars, wardrobes, homes, and vacations and all that. Better to sit with a humble, grace-filled heart laughing over the phone at life’s laughable moments (most of which have a gloriously GOB LOT to do with imperfection) - with holes in my socks, and house chores to be done. I’d rather send another funny meme to someone I care about than empty my email inbox. Imperfection - especially the sort that comes about in pursuit of priceless things - is a far higher achievement.

This time of year especially - perfectionism can be such a crushing thing. Better a desire for more time with loved ones, despite an imperfectly clean bathroom. Better to grow that new friendship than to double down on the perfect decorations.

May your imperfect life be full of all that’s perfectly priceless and meaningful!